| |
An
American History Lesson
Abraham
Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John
F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham
Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John
F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both
were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both
wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both
Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both
Presidents were shot in the head.
Lincoln's
secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's
Secretary was named
Lincoln
.
Both
were assassinated by Southerners.
Both
were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew
Johnson, who succeeded
Lincoln
, was
born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in
1908.
John
Wilkes Booth, who assassinated
Lincoln
, was
born in 1839. Lee
Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both
assassins were known by their three names.
Both
names are composed of fifteen letters.
Lincoln
was shot at the theatre named 'Ford'.
Kennedy
was shot in a car called '
Lincoln
'
made by 'Ford'. Lincoln
was
shot in a theatre and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy
was shot from a warehouse and his assassin hid in a theatre.
Booth
and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. Finally!
A
week before
Lincoln
was
shot, he was in
Monroe
,
Maryland
. A
week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Is
there an equivalent this side of the pond?
Let us know.
Contributed
by Philip Waller |
|
Subject: Jesus is watching you!
Not what you
MAY think!!
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his torch around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows
you’re here’ He nearly jumped out of his skin , clicked his torch off
and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and
continued. Just as he was pulling the stereo out so he could disconnect
the wires, clear as a bell eh heard ‘Jesus is watching you.’ He
freaked out and shined his light around frantically looking for the source
of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his torch beam came to
rest on a parrot.
‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot. ‘Yep’, the parrot
confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is
watching you.’
‘Warn me, huh, who in the world are you? ‘Moses’ replied the bird.
‘Moses.’ The burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird
Moses?’
‘The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’
How is your spelling and,
for that matter, reading?
You should, with little difficulty, be able to 'translate' this into
readable English!
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in
a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be
at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll
raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Contributed by Mick Boddy
|
|
| |
What would you do - now be honest?
Construction workers in
Vienna
fled when a naked
blonde woman
charged at them shouting
“Who wants me?”
The
startled labourers were working on a building site
near the Austrian
capital’s railway station when the
portly woman appeared.
“We like to chat up the girls as they walk past – it’s tradition”
said one. “But this woman was too much to handle
and we hid until the
police got here.
No one liked to think what would happen
if she caught one
of us”
|
Massage - but is it video or animation? |
|
